A couple of weeks ago I came to a realization. Probably more like a wacky theory, but I feel like it still holds some meaning. Okay, so, my phone charges right next to me on my bed while I’m sleeping. One morning as I was groggily blinking away sleep, I slowly opened my eyes and came face to face with the small Apple symbol on the back of my phone. Since I’ve had it, I haven’t really paid much attention to the logo because I had a picture in the back of my phone case that covered it up. Recently though, the picture got taken out, and I’ve found my eyes catching sight of that symbol more often.

The design is simple, just a basic outline of an apple with a bite taken out of it. The one on the back of my phone is shiny and reflective. I have no clue why my first waking thoughts after seeing this were to draw parellels between Adam, Eve, and the Garden of Eden and our world today, but it happened. I saw that apple and was immediately reminded of Eve taking a single bite out of the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. One little bite was all it took for our world to go spiraling down. In my half-awake, groggy, philosophical state, I kept thinking. If life were a movie, that Apple logo would hold so much symbolism. For it to be the face of an entire multi-billion dollar world-dominating company and also a huge symbol for the fall of all of mankind, it would be easy to connect the dots and label them as the “bad guys” of the movie.

Now, I am not at all trying to insinuate that Apple is actually run by Satan. But, it is interesting to me that the symbol of something that most of us use every day and would almost consider like an extension of ourselves is also the symbol for sin and destruction. Call me conspiratorial, but I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

I thought about this again today as I was reading in the book of Judges. In chapter 17, I was introduced to Micah, who made idols to worship as his gods and made his son a priest of his own household. Later on in the chapter, Micah even acknowledged the Lord like he believed in Him and knew Him. However, he still continued in sin and what he wanted to do. As I read this, I knew it wasn’t much different in our world today. We may not have blatant labels that say “this is an idol” or even consider ourselves to be worshipping them, but it is still very present and more common than we’d like to think. We also excuse ourselves from it because we acknowledge God and give Him His “allotted” time of the day, so why does it matter what we do with our free time? Like in my example of Apple, phones and technology have morphed into almost like a “silent” idol. What I mean is, our intention may not be to use it as an idol, but that’s what it has the potential to be and usually becomes. And that can be said for almost anything really. Anything in life that is given a higher priority than a true relationship with God and living like Christ is an idol.

I am guilty of this just as much as the next person. With technology there is so much opportunity for exposure to distractions and escapes. Whether that comes through social media, video games, television, or even books in my case, those things can become dangerously close to idols without us even realizing it. For me, I love to read and get lost in a good story. But, especially when I’m in a low place, I have to be careful not to let those stories just be an escape from real life. Sometimes I use books to avoid problems in my own life because it’s so much easier just to be someone else for a little while. I don’t want to have to deal with sin, troubles, and hard situations that I should be bringing before the Lord because I feel like it will be too painful for me to bare. Because of that, I end up pushing Him away and letting something else take His place. But no earthly object, person, or place can truly fill in the holes we dig ourselves. Only Christ can satisfy and only through Christ can our spirits be full and at peace. That includes dealing with the pain and the hard situations. Taking it to the Lord is the only way to be free from it instead of just running away and hoping it won’t catch up. Because the pain always catches up.

Usually I come to that realization much too late, to the point where the pain feels overwhelmingly crippling. I ask myself, what can I possibly do now?

Recently, I read a book by Elisabeth Elliot called Suffering is Never for Nothing. She is such a wise Christian woman, and I can’t wait to read more from her. My favorite point she makes is how to deal with the aftermath of tough circumstances. She says, you just do the next thing. Also recently, I saw Frozen 2, and the song I liked most from the movie is “The Next Right Thing.” I thought it so beautifully illustrated dealing with pain and sorrow in a raw, open, and relatable way. But then of course, Anna emphasizes that you must go on and do the next right thing, “stumbling blindly towards the light” if that’s what it takes. So when I ask myself what I can possibly do, the answer is the next right thing. And pursuing God above all else is always that next right thing.

I was not planning on writing this much at all, and I doubt I even fully connected all of my thoughts together. So sorry if this is just a trainwreck of random points. But all of this was on my heart today, and rambling on about it helps me to put my thoughts into words just so I can even know what I’m trying to say.